Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
