If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
