Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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