I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
My legs feel like baby dolphins
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I want a musical about memes.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
