some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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