First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
