Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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