yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
