I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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