dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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