I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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