Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
