I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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