would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
