All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
