So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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