WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
