I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
