i barfeds in our rink
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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