He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
