My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
