I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
