The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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