i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
someone owes me an orgasm
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
