So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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