I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
