This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
