I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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