sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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