a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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