so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you mean i was at the winter classic?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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