So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
don't judge my taste in strippers
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
