I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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