Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
