I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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