omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize