I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
