TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
