just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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