we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I miss vodka workout Fridays
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize