3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
