Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize