went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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