the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
