I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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