...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
