I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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