May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
