party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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