we have officially lost it.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
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