New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
