You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize