Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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