It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he was CRYING into my vagina
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
