When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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