4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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