he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
