Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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