Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I love you.
Bad choice
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
