Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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