Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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