Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
