We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
