There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
