She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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