You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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