she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
