So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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