Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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