I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
i believe in u and ur pee
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
