Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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