we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
